


i'll stand by you.

by mizcrameron



Series: Soulmates [5]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Depression, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 18:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15756879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizcrameron/pseuds/mizcrameron
Summary: kameron learns that it's not always easy to be with someone who has depression, but she'll do her absolute best to help.





	i'll stand by you.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i wrote this fic basically to show the ugly side of dating someone with depression. obviously there's a trigger warning for depression, but there is no mention of self-harm or suicide.

Kameron hadn’t seen Brianna in five days. **  
**

She knew Brianna had been struggling pretty bad. She remembered how it was with her best friend from home, who had days so bad Kameron had to drag her out of bed to do the simplest of tasks. Kameron had told Brianna that she was there if she needed her, but so far she had been quiet, maintaining that she would be okay. Until one day she wasn’t.

Kameron received a text message at 10 pm. She had just gotten back to her room after a shower, and her hair was still wet as she unlocked her phone.

[from: Brianna]: can you please come up?

[from: Brianna]: i know i said i was fine but i’m really not kam

[from: Kameron]: i’ll be right up.

Kameron dried her as much as she could with her towel before combing it out quickly. She grabbed her keys and left immediately, running up the stairs until she got to her girlfriend’s floor. When she got to Brianna’s room, it was unlocked. The lights were off, Kameron noticed when she opened the door.

“Brianna, can I turn on the lights?” Kameron asked, letting the door shut and engulfing them in the darkness.

“I guess,” Brianna responded in a monotone voice. Kameron flipped one of the two light switches, so there was enough light for them to see but it wasn’t too bright.

Brianna looked awful, laying there on her bed with the covers pulled up to her chin. She had dark circles under her eyes, her lips were chapped, and her messy hair looked like it hadn’t been brushed in days. Her eyes were red but her cheeks were dry, so Kameron assumed she had been crying at some point that day.

“Where’s Blair?” Kameron asked quietly as she sat down on the edge of Brianna’s bed.

“With Vixen. I asked her to stay there for a few days.” Brianna’s voice was raspy and dry.

Kameron nodded, laying her hand on Brianna’s shoulder. Brianna gave her a weak, unconvincing smile, and it broke Kameron’s heart. She just wanted to help Brianna feel better.

“When was the last time you got up to shower, Bri?” Kameron asked.

“Wednesday,” Brianna told her, hiding her face in the pillow. It was Monday now. She was embarrassed. She was eighteen years old and she couldn’t even get herself out of bed to take a damn shower for five whole days. She was anxious at this point that Kameron would see how much of a mess she was and leave her.

“Okay, where’s your shower stuff?” Kameron asked, getting up off the bed and walking over to Brianna’s dresser. She opened up the drawers and took out a pair of fluffy pajama pants, along with some underwear and a large t-shirt. When Brianna pointed across the room at a bag, Kameron walked over to find that it had Brianna’s shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in it. She tossed the clothes and a couple towels inside and picked up the bag, slinging it over her shoulder.

“You’re not grossed out?” Brianna asked, sounding as if she was expecting the worst.

“Of course not,” Kameron assured her, kneeling down next to the bed. “Do you wanna come with me and take a shower?”

Brianna pushed the covers off of herself, slowly sitting up. She reached over to the table beside her bed and grabbed a hairbrush, gently brushing out the tangles in her hair. It was the first time she had touched her hair in five days. Kameron stood back up, waiting for Brianna to finish detangling her hair.

Brianna was shaky when she finally stood up, prompting Kameron to wrap her arm tightly around the smaller girl’s waist and help her walk. Kameron opened the door for them, and then used Brianna’s key to open the bathroom door as well. When they got into the shower room, Kameron set the bag down. Brianna’s stomach growled loudly as she leaned against the wall.

“Did you eat today?” Kameron asked her, walking to where she was standing. Brianna shook her head and looked down at the ground. Kameron moved her hands to Brianna’s hips, pushing her shirt upward. Brianna lifted her arms and allowed Kameron to take it off.

“I haven’t gotten out of bed since Saturday,” Brianna replied, pushing her sweatpants down and stepping out of them.

“I’ll make you some food once we get you cleaned up, okay?” Kameron told Brianna, turning the water on to let it warm up as Brianna removed her undergarments. Kameron removed her own shirt and pants so they wouldn’t get wet, leaving her in her sports bra and underwear.

Kameron turned back around to find Brianna looking uncomfortable with her arms crossed around her chest, trying to hide herself. Kameron walked over to her girlfriend, leaning down to press a light kiss on her forehead before stepping back toward the shower. She held her hand out to Brianna, waiting for the girl to be comfortable enough to take it and join her.

A few seconds passed, then Brianna finally took Kameron’s hand and stepped forward. She stepped under the stream of water, still shaky as she stood. Kameron stepped in behind her, lightly resting her hands on Brianna’s arms to hold her steady. Within a few moments, though, Brianna was shaky enough that she almost fell. Kameron caught her before she hit the ground, gently helping her sit down. Brianna was crying at this point, hiding her face in her hands.

Kameron knelt down beside Brianna, rubbing her back. She continued to rub her back for a few minutes until Brianna’s sobs turned to quiet whimpers. It was then that she got to helping her wash up. She helped Brianna scoot over a little so the water was hitting the back of her head. Kameron ran her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair, moving it around until it was fully wet.

Brianna sat completely still as Kameron shampooed her hair, careful not to pull it as she ran her fingers through it. Kameron let the water rinse the bubbles out of Brianna’s hair, massaging her scalp gently to try to relax her. Brianna sighed, leaning into Kameron’s touch.

Kameron repeated the actions with conditioner before grabbing a washcloth and lathering it up with Brianna’s body wash. She gently ran it over Brianna’s back and shoulders, watching the bubbles appear on top of her skin. Kameron ran the cloth over the rest of her girlfriend’s body, pleased when the girl actually took it from her and did part of it herself. She hoped that was a good sign, that she would be able to at least partially take care of herself again soon.

Once Brianna was all cleaned off, Kameron turned off the water and stepped out of the shower to grab one of the two towels she had brought. She took it back over to Brianna, helping her stand up and drying her off as Brianna held onto the rail on the wall. As Kameron was drying Brianna’s hair with the towel, she pressed a quick, light kiss on the girl’s cheek, earning just the hint of a smile. It was good enough for Kameron right now, as she knew she was lucky to even get that.

Kameron handed Brianna the clothes she had brought, letting the girl put them on herself but being on standby in case she fell again. Brianna managed to get herself dressed without incident.

Kameron turned her attention to herself. She was wet again from helping Brianna shower, and regretting leaving her bra and panties on. She stripped off the wet clothing and wrapped the second towel around herself, knowing it would do for now. She had clothes, just no dry undergarments. Kameron sent a quick text to Monèt.

[from: Kameron]: hey, can you bring me some clothes to bri’s room?

[from: Kameron]: or even if you could just bring me some underwear.

[from: Monèt]: not even gonna ask. be there in a sec.

Kameron loaded the toiletries back into the bag and grabbed it, looking at Brianna who had shuffled closer to grab onto her arm.

“Can you walk okay?” Kameron asked Brianna, who nodded but still held onto Kameron. The taller girl kept an eye on Brianna as they walked slowly back to Brianna’s room. Once inside, Kameron walked her over to the bed and helped her sit back down.

A knock on the door signaled that Monèt had gotten there. Kameron opened the door and gratefully took the undergarments from her roommate. Before she left, Monèt poked her head in the door to see Brianna.

“Hey, Cracks, you okay?” Monèt asked, giving her an encouraging smile.

“I will be,” Brianna answered, nodding at Monèt.

“You guys know where I am if you need me,” Monèt offered before stepping back out of the doorframe and heading back to her room.

Kameron let the towel fall, putting on the new undergarments Monèt had brought her before grabbing her shirt and pants from the bag and putting them back on.

Once she was dressed again, Kameron grabbed Brianna’s hairbrush and sat down beside her on the bed, running the brush through her hair gently until it was smooth. She set the brush back down and remained seated, looking at Brianna, who was staring at the floor.

“Do you want me to make you some soup?” Kameron asked.

Brianna nodded, and Kameron got up off the bed and walked to the cupboard where Brianna kept her food. She pulled out a can of noodle soup and set it down on the bedside table.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Kameron told her, hearing a quiet mumble in response that she assumed meant ‘okay.’

Kameron took the can and walked down the hall to the kitchen on Brianna’s floor. Searching the cupboards, she found a small bowl and poured the soup into it before warming it up. It only took three minutes, but it felt forever when she knew her girlfriend was just a few doors down feeling awful.

Kameron returned to the room, very carefully carrying the hot bowl. She set it down on Blair’s empty desk, letting it cool down for a moment. When she turned to Brianna, she saw that the girl was laying down again, curled up under her blanket. Kameron knelt down in front of her, moving her hand to touch Brianna’s face lightly.

“Do you want to sit up and eat a little?” Kameron asked, quietly since she was so close to Brianna’s face. Brianna nodded and Kameron pulled her hand away, letting the girl push herself up and off the bed. Kameron watched her carefully as she slowly shuffled over to her desk chair and sat down.

Kameron moved the bowl of soup from Blair’s desk to Brianna’s, giving her a spoon to eat with. Brianna ate slowly as Kameron wandered around, cleaning up the area.

Kameron tossed some clothes from the floor into a laundry hamper and put away books that had been left sitting on the floor. Any trash was thrown away, and when she was done, it looked like Brianna’s old room again.

Brianna ate about half of the soup before she just sat there, staring at it, emotionless. Kameron quietly cleared her throat, breaking Brianna out of her trance.

“Sorry,” Brianna mumbled, shaking her head and pushing herself away from the table. “I need to sleep,” she continued, getting up and walking over to the bed, a lot more stable than earlier. Kameron watched her climb back under the covers, facing the wall and curling in on herself. As Kameron picked up the bowl and moved toward the door to go clean up, she heard Brianna speak again.

“Don’t go, Kameron,” Brianna mumbled, pleading.

“I’m just cleaning the bowl, baby, I’ll be right back,” Kameron promised, slipping out the door and making her way quickly to the kitchen. She cleaned the bowl and left it on the rack to dry.

When Kameron returned, Brianna was facing the door, as if she was waiting for Kameron to get back. There were tears on her cheeks.

“Can you stay with me tonight?” Brianna asked, her voice cracking. Kameron nodded and Brianna moved over in the bed, making room for her girlfriend.

Kameron switched off the lights and climbed into the bed, pulling her half of the blanket over herself. Brianna rolled over, facing the wall yet again. Kameron stayed still, just laying there. She didn’t want to make a wrong move and make Brianna worse.

Brianna reached behind her, finding Kameron’s arm and tugging gently. Kameron took that as her cue to move closer to Brianna and slide her arm over the girl’s waist, pulling her back against her.

Brianna sounded exhausted when she mumbled, “I’m sorry you have to see me like this. Thank you for being here.”

“I’ll always be here,” Kameron replied, kissing the back of Brianna’s head.

Brianna settled back against Kameron and let herself doze off, hoping for a better tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! don't forget to check me out on tumblr @ mizcrameron and leave me feedback! i love seeing comments and getting messages/asks about my work <333


End file.
